I don't usually write something about my parents. Of course they are the best parents I can ever have in this world but... I don't know, sometimes it feels awkward to write about them. Also it's very hard for me to tell them I love them, how grateful I feel to have them in my life and how I hope they will never get old, never get sick, and can live forever. I guess I am not used to talk about feeling directly; it's more like we already know the feeling of each of us and it's not necessary to use words to express it. But sometimes I do wonder if they know how much I love them, much more than how my words toward them may reflect.
Okay, so I was having dinner while watching KBS and there was a scripted drama which told abt how a family was ruined because the mother expected too much from her son and there was no clear communication between the family members. The husband worked so hard to satisfy a greedy wife who could never get over her husband mistake when she was gonna bear her son. The wife was so greedy that she saw her husband as having a miserable and low life so she expected her son to be a great and rich person thus she took her son school's grade as everything. She used almost all the money her husband gave her to pay the course for her son. She never asked her son what he really wanted; all she asked was him to get the first rank in his school. The son got depressed but he couldn't tell his mom or his dad who was barely in home; instead he became rebellious and befriended bad kids. The climax was when he asked his friends to hit a student who took the first rank in school; he got caught and was taken to the police office. His mom became so frustrated that she closed her eyes from the fact that she was shaping her son to be a monster. Though her husband had tried to advise her, she was too stubborn. Instead she thought money could solve everything and tried to pay the victim's mom for covering her son's crime. The drama ended w/ both mothers fighting each other.
It isn't just a drama. In real life, I've heard or read about such family. Not exactly similar but some aspects are quite concerning. One of my friend is still having trauma from her childhood because her mother was trying too hard to make her study; this included banging her daughter head to the wall and beating her w/ wooden stick when she got low mark or when she got caught in the desperate effort to get some refreshments by cycling around the complex. Her mom never allowed her to hang out w/ friends or play w/ neighbors. Everyday she went to school, studied, went back from school only to study till night. Everyday was like that. As the result, she didn't have many friends and I believe there were many precious childhood moments that she missed out. Now she is free cause she is living separated from her family. But the scars are still there; the memories never go. When I asked her whether she could forgive and let it go, she answered that she still couldn't. Even now when she is living her way to become a free adult, the memories still affect her and I believe they will still do until the day she can forgive her mother and let all the memories go. That's how severe the parents' attitude destructing their children.
One more story I remember is the story my parents told me. I don't really know the family but it's real event. So there was a family in which the son really wanted to become a physician. But his parents didn't have enough money to pay for his tuition fee. In the end, the son got depression and had psychological problem. He would dress in white coat, act like a real physician and would get angry if anyone trying to stop him. His parents had lost a son because they couldn't afford enough money. It's sad story but not uncommon.
Actually I feel that I have no right to judge anyone here cause I've been raised in an ideal family in which I and my brothers have been living and growing up comfortably. My dad was running his own business and doing very well that I can say we never lacks of money. Despite his business, he always arrived home before it was dark and continued to do his works in home. In the morning, before we went to school we still could see him. Maybe at the time that I was born, my family financial had come to stabile level thus I never feel lacking. I don't know what my brothers hv gone through during the hard time of my dad's business. But one thing for sure, we never lacks of love and care by our parents. My mom have been taking care of us even till now. Though she endured hard times for very long since she married my dad, she never neglects her role as a mother. She scolded us a lot and beat us sometimes but there were always good reasons for her to put her hard hands on us. I remembered I called my mom as scarier than a tiger while I was crying. As a kid, I was naughty and often talked back to my parents. No, I wasn't spoiled by my mom lol. My dad may have spoiled me a little because I was the youngest and the only daughter he has. I remembered sitting on his lap and telling him I wanted to marry him or at least a guy like him haha. Childhood memories are so fresh.
My parents never forced us to study. I do admit that from all three of us, I have the highest grade in school and yes, I'm the only one taking such a "hard" course like medicine. My oldest bro was doing so-so during his school year, having like middle rank in his classes. My second brother was doing quite bad; during his senior highschool year, he always had like the second or third last rank in his class. He was more into sports though, having been a top basketball player in school's team and traveling to other towns w/ his team for matches. I recalled my parents were deciding whose turn it was to meet the teacher and pick the rapport. It was so funny cause both of them felt embarrassed to discuss abt my brother's "good" marks. Usually my dad was the one going cause the teacher was female and she wouldn't have much things to say compared w/ if my mom was the one going. Usually the teacher would tell her complains, ask my dad to make things better and throw out some cynical comments lol. But as far as I remember, we never get beaten because of our marks. The first time I remember my brother getting beaten and scolded severely was when he got home very late, past midnight. My dad was getting really angry and my mom.... I think she almost cried. I know that they were afraid of my brother getting into trouble and they were mad at him so he wouldn't repeat his mistake. But I respect my brothers cause they accept their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. They keep quiet and put their heads down when being scolded. Come to think of it, maybe I am the most rebellious one lol. I dared to talk back but in the end usually I broke into tears. Sometimes my parents went angrier when I cried, but most time they just got softer.
During the days before exam, my parents never really urged us to study. Usually we took our own measure of how many days before exam that we needed to start studying. Maybe when they saw us watching tv instead, they would make some comments or turn off the tv. But there was no physical act to force us. If we got good marks, we got compliments. If we got bad marks, then we got some comments and encouragements. My parents.... they don't put high expectation on us. They let us develop into what we want in our way without them putting the burden on our shoulder or the target for us to reach. They never asked us to be number one. As long as we did well enough and we were happy, then it was okay. For them, good grades weren't everything. It was our attitude and our social lives that they paid much attention to. Obviously they don't want us to grow into immoral people.
During university time, my parents let my brothers choose the course they like. After graduation, they let them to choose where and what to work. Even when my oldest brother still struggles in Malaysia, trying to create his own business, my parents still support him financially and emotionally. Yes, my mom gets all fussy and persuades him to come back to my hometown, but they still respects his decision. Then my second brother who works in Singapore and enjoys his life there though my parents doubt his future life is reluctant to come back. My parents respect his decision though they don't really agree. Then me.... My mom never expects one of her children to be a physician, moreover me. When I told my parents that I wanted to become a physician, what was in their mind in the first place was how hard a physician's life can be. They never expect their children to be famous or rich... They just want us to live a happy life... In my case, they don't wanna see me struggling and studying for years, then having to go to villages and living hard life. One of my mom's dream, I'm sure, is to see me getting married. She is really afraid that I won't get married as I'm too focused on my career. She also persuades me to take pediatric as it doesn't require waking up on midnight or doing surgery on a patient. I understand that she wants me to enjoy my life to the fullest but... I AM enjoying my life now. It may look like that I'm suffering from studying so long and living a hard life but actually it's part of my life journey I hv decided to walk through.
Well okay, so back to my parents. Yes, after watching that Korean drama, I realize that how lucky I am to be in my family now, to be the daughter of my parents who must have their own expectations but never burden us w/ it. I know more or less, there must be disappointments when we can't fulfill their unspoken hopes, but they always encourage us. They provide us w/ wings and let us fly to wherever we want. When we're tired or lost, we can always go back home. It will be a day when.... we can't go back anymore. I know it. I always know it. I always know that time is running, that time I can spend w/ them is getting lessened. Thus on every holiday, I will always be home. I will always try to be a better daughter so that they won't have to worry about me anymore. I promise.
Okay, so I was having dinner while watching KBS and there was a scripted drama which told abt how a family was ruined because the mother expected too much from her son and there was no clear communication between the family members. The husband worked so hard to satisfy a greedy wife who could never get over her husband mistake when she was gonna bear her son. The wife was so greedy that she saw her husband as having a miserable and low life so she expected her son to be a great and rich person thus she took her son school's grade as everything. She used almost all the money her husband gave her to pay the course for her son. She never asked her son what he really wanted; all she asked was him to get the first rank in his school. The son got depressed but he couldn't tell his mom or his dad who was barely in home; instead he became rebellious and befriended bad kids. The climax was when he asked his friends to hit a student who took the first rank in school; he got caught and was taken to the police office. His mom became so frustrated that she closed her eyes from the fact that she was shaping her son to be a monster. Though her husband had tried to advise her, she was too stubborn. Instead she thought money could solve everything and tried to pay the victim's mom for covering her son's crime. The drama ended w/ both mothers fighting each other.
It isn't just a drama. In real life, I've heard or read about such family. Not exactly similar but some aspects are quite concerning. One of my friend is still having trauma from her childhood because her mother was trying too hard to make her study; this included banging her daughter head to the wall and beating her w/ wooden stick when she got low mark or when she got caught in the desperate effort to get some refreshments by cycling around the complex. Her mom never allowed her to hang out w/ friends or play w/ neighbors. Everyday she went to school, studied, went back from school only to study till night. Everyday was like that. As the result, she didn't have many friends and I believe there were many precious childhood moments that she missed out. Now she is free cause she is living separated from her family. But the scars are still there; the memories never go. When I asked her whether she could forgive and let it go, she answered that she still couldn't. Even now when she is living her way to become a free adult, the memories still affect her and I believe they will still do until the day she can forgive her mother and let all the memories go. That's how severe the parents' attitude destructing their children.
One more story I remember is the story my parents told me. I don't really know the family but it's real event. So there was a family in which the son really wanted to become a physician. But his parents didn't have enough money to pay for his tuition fee. In the end, the son got depression and had psychological problem. He would dress in white coat, act like a real physician and would get angry if anyone trying to stop him. His parents had lost a son because they couldn't afford enough money. It's sad story but not uncommon.
Actually I feel that I have no right to judge anyone here cause I've been raised in an ideal family in which I and my brothers have been living and growing up comfortably. My dad was running his own business and doing very well that I can say we never lacks of money. Despite his business, he always arrived home before it was dark and continued to do his works in home. In the morning, before we went to school we still could see him. Maybe at the time that I was born, my family financial had come to stabile level thus I never feel lacking. I don't know what my brothers hv gone through during the hard time of my dad's business. But one thing for sure, we never lacks of love and care by our parents. My mom have been taking care of us even till now. Though she endured hard times for very long since she married my dad, she never neglects her role as a mother. She scolded us a lot and beat us sometimes but there were always good reasons for her to put her hard hands on us. I remembered I called my mom as scarier than a tiger while I was crying. As a kid, I was naughty and often talked back to my parents. No, I wasn't spoiled by my mom lol. My dad may have spoiled me a little because I was the youngest and the only daughter he has. I remembered sitting on his lap and telling him I wanted to marry him or at least a guy like him haha. Childhood memories are so fresh.
My parents never forced us to study. I do admit that from all three of us, I have the highest grade in school and yes, I'm the only one taking such a "hard" course like medicine. My oldest bro was doing so-so during his school year, having like middle rank in his classes. My second brother was doing quite bad; during his senior highschool year, he always had like the second or third last rank in his class. He was more into sports though, having been a top basketball player in school's team and traveling to other towns w/ his team for matches. I recalled my parents were deciding whose turn it was to meet the teacher and pick the rapport. It was so funny cause both of them felt embarrassed to discuss abt my brother's "good" marks. Usually my dad was the one going cause the teacher was female and she wouldn't have much things to say compared w/ if my mom was the one going. Usually the teacher would tell her complains, ask my dad to make things better and throw out some cynical comments lol. But as far as I remember, we never get beaten because of our marks. The first time I remember my brother getting beaten and scolded severely was when he got home very late, past midnight. My dad was getting really angry and my mom.... I think she almost cried. I know that they were afraid of my brother getting into trouble and they were mad at him so he wouldn't repeat his mistake. But I respect my brothers cause they accept their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. They keep quiet and put their heads down when being scolded. Come to think of it, maybe I am the most rebellious one lol. I dared to talk back but in the end usually I broke into tears. Sometimes my parents went angrier when I cried, but most time they just got softer.
During the days before exam, my parents never really urged us to study. Usually we took our own measure of how many days before exam that we needed to start studying. Maybe when they saw us watching tv instead, they would make some comments or turn off the tv. But there was no physical act to force us. If we got good marks, we got compliments. If we got bad marks, then we got some comments and encouragements. My parents.... they don't put high expectation on us. They let us develop into what we want in our way without them putting the burden on our shoulder or the target for us to reach. They never asked us to be number one. As long as we did well enough and we were happy, then it was okay. For them, good grades weren't everything. It was our attitude and our social lives that they paid much attention to. Obviously they don't want us to grow into immoral people.
During university time, my parents let my brothers choose the course they like. After graduation, they let them to choose where and what to work. Even when my oldest brother still struggles in Malaysia, trying to create his own business, my parents still support him financially and emotionally. Yes, my mom gets all fussy and persuades him to come back to my hometown, but they still respects his decision. Then my second brother who works in Singapore and enjoys his life there though my parents doubt his future life is reluctant to come back. My parents respect his decision though they don't really agree. Then me.... My mom never expects one of her children to be a physician, moreover me. When I told my parents that I wanted to become a physician, what was in their mind in the first place was how hard a physician's life can be. They never expect their children to be famous or rich... They just want us to live a happy life... In my case, they don't wanna see me struggling and studying for years, then having to go to villages and living hard life. One of my mom's dream, I'm sure, is to see me getting married. She is really afraid that I won't get married as I'm too focused on my career. She also persuades me to take pediatric as it doesn't require waking up on midnight or doing surgery on a patient. I understand that she wants me to enjoy my life to the fullest but... I AM enjoying my life now. It may look like that I'm suffering from studying so long and living a hard life but actually it's part of my life journey I hv decided to walk through.
Well okay, so back to my parents. Yes, after watching that Korean drama, I realize that how lucky I am to be in my family now, to be the daughter of my parents who must have their own expectations but never burden us w/ it. I know more or less, there must be disappointments when we can't fulfill their unspoken hopes, but they always encourage us. They provide us w/ wings and let us fly to wherever we want. When we're tired or lost, we can always go back home. It will be a day when.... we can't go back anymore. I know it. I always know it. I always know that time is running, that time I can spend w/ them is getting lessened. Thus on every holiday, I will always be home. I will always try to be a better daughter so that they won't have to worry about me anymore. I promise.
